I've been thinking a lot about Michael Jackson and the news surrounding his death. Everywhere I turn, I see and hear him. The TV. The newspapers. The radio. The people around me watching his shows, listening to his songs. The previous post was me writing whatever that came to mind that very second as I typed. The shock, the devastation. I had time to ponder after that, but it still feels so, so surreal. One day I'm going to look back and ask the question: Where was I when MJ died?

I came back from Play that night, a happy girl. But to come home and sit in front of the computer and then receive news of his passing; it just shook me to the core. The very first bit of news I saw was from a DJ friend on Facebook. He wrote on his status, "Michael Jackson Is Dead. =/" I thought it was just a passing comment, until I started seeing more and more people posting the same thing on Facebook and even Twitter. I Googled, and I couldn't believe it. I wanted to think it was just stupid Internet rumours, another attack at him just like all the others he'd withstood before. At that point in time, it was reported he was still in the hospital. I was praying so hard that he'd pull through, that he'd come out of there alive. I sat in front of my computer searching for more news, waiting for good news. An hour later, they sent out confirmation of his death. My mum was at work and I called her, crying. Nobody could digest the news well enough... Our favourite King of Pop is dead.

I didn't sleep until the early morning, I was so upset. To some people, they don't give a shit, couldn't care less. To some people, they think people like me are dramatic. They think it's over-hyped. To some people, they think it's laughable. Samuel laughed at me and asked, "You know Michael Jackson ah? Why you cry?" Yes, I know Michael Jackson. The world knows him. Maybe Samuel doesn't, not that way. And a lot of other people are like him as well. Michael Jackson doesn't know me, but he knows his fans as a body of support for him, he knows we're all mourning his death. And I am one of them. I don't even think it's a very funny thing at all. I find zero humour in it.

I unexpectedly found a torrent download of Michael Jackson's SEGA Moonwalker game, and I was playing it on my computer earlier in the evening. It brought back so many memories. I'd raise up my hand if someone asked whether I'd ever attempted to Moonwalk like Michael Jackson before. I'd also raise up my hand if someone asked whether I mimicked his squeals on stage. I was introduced to Michael Jackson by my uncle. The very first time I laid eyes on his cassette tape, I was in awe of the intricate cover of Dangerous:



And I was even more awed at his music videos on LDs. Imagine how old I was then. 5-year-old me, getting goosebumps watching him perform. Even at 5 years old, I knew his power. To me, he was magic. He was a hero. My mouth fell open watching him twirl, watching him do the Moonwalk, watching him defy gravity when he leaned forward and didn't fall. Watching people faint at the mere SIGHT of him on stage. I loved Michael Jackson so much as a kid and I still do.

I don't know why his death is affecting me as much as it is... Don't ask me, okay? I just know it wasn't really meant to play out this way. Yes, the countless plastic surgeries he'd done. Yes, the countless painkillers he'd taken. Yes, the number of lawsuits slapped in his face and the accusations and the debt. But does that make him any less human? Does that make him any less talented? NO. NO IT DOES NOT. People only wanted his money, he had the biggest bullies in the world. MJ was a humanitarian; he loved kids and animals. That man could never hurt a fly. What wrong is there in him not wanting to grow up? What wrong is there being young at heart? Look at the number of charities he contributed to, look at Neverland. Look at Heal The World. Look at HIM.

Was chatting to Bob on the phone about Michael Jackson for 45 whole minutes. We are all sad. I bet you when his autopsy results come out and things progress, people involved are going to start fighting over his inheritance or whatever. Money, it's all about that. I can't stand it. Fools. When MJ was at his peak, everyone cheered for him. When he was at his all-time low with all that child molestation charges and health problems, where was everyone? Now that he's gone, his records are once again flying off the shelves like they once did. Isn't it a bit too late now? He is dead and they're still milking it for all it's worth, for the capital. Too little, too late.

I bet you there are people out there crying crocodile tears - the same people who once called him Wacko Jacko, the same people who once made fun of his antics and his face, of the way he spoke towards the end of his downward spiral. That breathy, girly voice. Have those people ever once stopped to think it could be his nose giving him problems? Could you really blame him? And what about the US$20 million he paid to the family of the boy he supposedly molested? Do you think from then till now, part of the US$20 million is still somewhere in their bank account? They should feel ashamed of themselves.

I've read so many statements released about Michael Jackson's death. All over the world, in so many reports here and there. Locals are interviewed as well, some undeserving of being asked. But what strikes me as out of sorts was the fact that Janet Jackson is missing from this whole thing. There are no pictures, no statements. I wonder where she is?

People are comparing the death of MJ and Elvis Presley's one together. I know of Elvis Presley, but he died before I was born. He wasn't in my era. Michael Jackson was, and boy, was he the most amazing performer I'd ever seen. Michael Jackson was pure genius, a true musician. He was charming, stunning and electrifying all at once. And can I say this again, I absolutely loved him. You can rest assured that the first songs my kids would know in the future would belong to Michael Jackson. They would never see him perform in person, just like I never did. And that is a true pity, a regret that I would carry forever. But his music lives on, and that is the greatest gift he gave to the world. And look how some of them treated him.

I remembered complaining that his comeback tour was only scheduled in London and none in Singapore, and I dreamt of buying a ticket to London just to watch him if I could. I dreamt of meeting him, and now I would never get that chance. At my age, I still feel that same familiar surge of awe as he belted out his hits on stage. Michael Jackson can reduce me to a little girl again, with me squealing at my mum, "Look! Look at Michael Jackson!!! Oh my God, my skin is crawling. He is SO GOOD!" Yes, look at Michael Jackson, my idol. I might not be the BIGGEST fan in the entire world, that of course I am not. But really, I loved Michael Jackson enough.

MJ had a brief marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley. Lisa Presley wrote on her MySpace blog:

Saturday, June 27, 2009

He Knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.


I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.


~LMP

MJ knew. But that didn't mean he wasn't scared. He was a victim of his own fame. I wonder how he felt moments before his death. I wonder if he felt pain, I wonder if he felt alone. Most of all, I wonder if he felt loved.

Michael Jackson leaves behind his family and his 3 kids, Michael Jackson Jr., Paris and Prince aka Blanket:



Taken from Paris Hilton's Twitter:



She said God has another angel with Him now... I so agree. I could look at Michael's death as a good thing, that he's finally freed from his stress, his pain and his debt. But that doesn't mean I am not devastated. I am still grieving, it still feels like a dream. I have bouts of crying spells and my heart feels heavy. His songs have been on my Windows Media Player for 2 whole days. I miss him. ='((((

One might not be a fan, but nobody can deny the fact that Michael Jackson was a part of one's life at some point in time, big or small. There can only be one Michael Jackson, nobody even comes close. Nobody ever will. He was a part of my childhood, and he still is a part of me more than a decade down the road. And when he died, a little part of me died along with him.



With Michael Jackson's star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.

The day comes when everyone has to say goodbye. But I didn't know goodbye was going to be so soon. Farewell, my love. XOXOXOXOXOOXXXXXXXX

Labels: hard times, Michael Jackson, music, Paris Hilton, pictures

I'm sorry but I just had to blog this right now as I hear it... Michael Jackson, King of Pop... He has passed on at age 50, of a heart attack.

You know, I'm seriously damn affected right now...? I'm crying as I'm typing this. Obviously he doesn't know me, and I don't know him in person as well... But really, my heart is in mourning. It hurts so bad. He was my hero. He still is.

I don't care if people think he's a paedophile, I don't care how many times he had plastic surgery done, I don't care how eccentric people think he might be. He made history, he IS the King of Pop. HE IS MY KING. I listened to him since I was a kid, I still regularly do. The other day I was just sitting in PastaMania with Rachel and Gayle and we were listening to MJ on repeat. Who could forget the Moonwalk, who could forget his amazing, amazing dance moves?

I fucking can't believe it. I'm shaking. I want to throw up. This is fucked up, in all seriousness it is. He didn't even say goodbye, and he left just like that. Life is short, and this is unfair. It's bloody unfair. I can't believe it. If I could help it, I don't want to believe it.

I hope he finds peace in Heaven, I hope the people who are after his money realise how mean they've been. Those assholes. He brought so much inspiration to us, he was the most amazing person. 50 was too young to go... Imagine the dancing angels in Heaven doing the Moonwalk... This is the universe's greatest loss. I'm utterly saddened.

Michael Jackson, 1958-2009. The world is in mourning. We lost a great person. Music is dead. It will never be the same again.

"HEAL THE WORLD, MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE..."

"In my anguish and my pain, through my joy and my sorrow, in the promise of another tomorrow, I'LL NEVER LET YOU PART, FOR YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY HEART." - Michael Jackson, Will You Be There

I will be there.









RIP, MICHAEL JACKSON. YOU WILL LIVE IN MY HEART FOREVER. I MISS YOU ALREADY. GOODBYE MY KING... I LOVE YOU. ♥ ♥ ♥

*SCROLL DOWN FOR ENTRIES!*

Hello one and all!

I just found this out, but I have been nominated for the Omy Singapore Blog Awards! :D



I almost fell off my chair when my Statcounter reflected the number of hits coming from Omy; I thought something went cranky! But no! This is the coolest thing, ever. I have been blogging for some time now, but I've never made any big impact with my blog... Not that I know of, anyway. I've never thought of the possibility of winning an award with it either!

But here I have my chance, and thank you to whoever nominated me (I don't know your name but thank you!), thank you to whoever reads my blog whether you like me or not. I just like to blog, and it's still all thanks to you all lovers and haters that I'm even in the Top 10! Hahaha. I'm suddenly so excited. LOL.

Here's how you vote!:

1. Sign up for an account HERE. It's a must!
2. Go to http://sgblogawards.omy.sg/category/ and click on "Best Modeling Blog".
3. Click on the red "Vote" banner on my picture to vote! :)

You can vote once a day, so do remember! :D Voting ends 31st July, so hurry hurry! X)

I know I haven't been updating of late, but I swear I will catch up! My computer hard disk is dying and I'm getting a new one very soon. Once I do, I'll be back louder than ever! LOL.

THANK YOU READERS! ♥ ♥ ♥

Presenting to you... Majolica Majorca's GARDEN OF EDEN:



I love receiving new stuff from Majolica Majorca because they ALWAYS package it so, so nicely!!!! The last time it was a gift box, now it's my own little Garden of Eden basket! =D You can't help but light up with innocent pleasure at the pretty sight. This time round, I have the latest Majolica Majorca Jeweling Eyes eyeshadow palettes!:



I have the other one in brown but I thought I'd try this one out first since it's BLUE, and for me, BLUE = my mum's era! =X I don't know why but when I was younger, all I saw my mum apply was blue or purple eyeshadow and it just seemed so dated in my mind! But after applying it, Jeweling Eyes totally proved me wrong - blue can look modern too! Check this out - I followed the "How to Apply" instructions on the back of the packaging so if you don't know how to do it, fret not! It's easy! First up, it's the Jeweling Colour (No. 1) for your brow bone and inner corner of your eye:



See the sparkle? You'd be wondering how it manages to give it off so intensely! The Majolica Majorca Jeweling Eyes is formulated with a mixture of virtually colourless, translucent pearls of various sizes. A range of light reflections occur, resulting in a variety of light intensities being reflected from a polyhedral cut. The eyelids then emit contrasting glitter every time they are seen from a different angle. ISN'T THAT COOL?! If you're wondering what a polyhedral cut is, or what a polyhedron is, THIS is it:



It's 3-dimensional. Yup, it's like what you see in a diamond. You learn a bit of science with Majolica Majorca too! ;)

After the Jeweling Colour, apply the Nuance Colour (No. 2) and shade on over middle eyelid:



Then blend in Shade (No. 3) from the outer corner of your eye to the center of your eyelid:



Lastly, draw a line along the upper eyelid and 1/3 of the lower lid from the outer corner with Line Colour (No. 4). This is what you end up with!:



Okay, I know my makeup skills are not the best in the world but you get the gist! And I didn't line only 1/3 of my lower lid but instead the whole of it because I always do it that way; it's just me! Personal preference, so it's always up to you. =)

The blue really doesn't look dated at all!:



I think I look kinda... frosty. LoL. I like it! If you think that it's still too complicated, log on to www.majolica-majorca.com for an animated step-by-step makeup application! =)

Now YOU can be a part of all this Majolica Majorca excitement! We're extending our invitation to you (yes, don't turn and look behind, it's YOU!) to join us blog ambassadors at our next meeting! You'd see me, you'd see sweet Beatrice and petite lil Audrey, crazy Cordelia, the intellectual Nadnut, the super-kawaii Miyake, pretty Emileen, cute Kanny and doe-eyed Hui Rong. Trust me, it's a lot of fun and surprises in-store. ;) All you have to do is to write an entry of at least 300 words on:

"Why do you like Majolica Majorca and why should you join the Majolica Majorca blog ambassadors in their next meeting?"

Email your entry and blog address (if you have one) to majolica@shiseido.com.sg OR post your entry on the Majolica Majorca Facebook group. Remember: You MUST quote from whose blog you saw this competition from, because 1 reader/entry from every ambassador will be chosen. In this case, it would be my blog. =) Incomplete entries will be disqualified! Last day of entry is 5th July 2009 (Sunday), and winners will be notified by 26th July 2009.

So.......? What are you waiting for? Get crackin'! SEE YOU SOON! :D

Rachel and Gayle, that's who! These 2 crazy girls are the best potentials for a hen's night because they can get SO crazy! Not that I attended a hen's night, though. It was just another crazy night out and it turned out to be so fun because I had these 2 pretties with me. =):



Rachel and I went to Gotham for some free vodka first. Strong, without ice. *gAgS* Please be ready for some crazy but harmless fun pics ahead (I didn't upload all because some were too crazy!). Too much alcohol = toilet visits = lame crazy ideas!:







They made me do it!!! *bAwLs* The urinals were outside, RIGHT by the toilet queue so it can get kinda embarrassing, won't it?! So far I haven't seen anyone using it for its real purpose other than to throw up in it. o_O

More than a couple of beers later..........:

















Rachel took this - I don't really like this bartender at all!!:



Every time he sees me, he just stares at me. And not in a nice way too. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought it was.... resentment? The very first time I was there, I ordered an Asahi from him. I said, "Can I have an Asahi?" He nodded his head and just stood there, staring. And I added, "And can I borrow a pen too, please?" He looked at me and said, "No." Straight in my face. Rude!!! It's just a blardy pen! What the hell is wrong with borrowing a pen? Weirdo.

We stood right up by the stage for the SUTYA competition. It was more fun to watch it nearer. Haha.





Hot host Bernie Chan:



The judges!:



Aaaand Gayle snuck these peeks of Becs 'cos even girls think she's irresistable:





My favourite contestant so far:





Her bod is hot right?!:















We were all high by then, to be honest. But it was all a lot of fun!!! Like while queuing up for the ladies'...:





HAHAHA! And we spotted a guy wearing makeup, falsies AND heels so we all took turns taking a picture with him...:







No, we didn't say we asked. =P Who wears heels with t-shirts anyway? That looks so wrong! =X

Me and Mok:



With friends:















THIS WAS A DARE!:



Hahahahahaha. Oh my God, it looks so wrong. If you're wondering, that's Adlina and she's my friend from that gameshow I did on TV, duh.





Woohoo, LOTL baby!:



Guess what's reserved? ........ Buahahaha:





A Thai gay dude bought us vodka apple shots...:



He really likes Gayle, for some reason!:





He's flamboyantly mad!:



Seriously we started to doubt if he was completely gay when he carried Gayle to the dancefloor and she came running back to us, saying he lifted up her skirt, grabbed her ass and snapped her thong. O_O What the hell is that?! If he's just trying to be "friendly" or "open", then I think that's not because I don't even do that to my own girl-friends. He could have been chased out of the place for harrassment, Adlina almost wanted to do that. Haha.

Random shots by Rachel when she was in possession of my camera:









Ended the night with a picture with the big peepos (stop staring at Bec's sexy chest, guys):



It hadn't been a good few weeks for me so going out and getting crazy was maybe what I needed, even though they said alcohol can be a depressant. I had fun while it lasted, though. I wanna go back next week again but my friends are all starting to get tired of the fun. ='( It's sadddd.

Also, for the past 4 days, I've been working at CommunicAsia. Yes, can you imagine how zombified I must have been on the last day after Play? Haha. I was dressed as a policewoman (I KNOW, don't laugh!!!). When I tried the outfit on, I was shocked at just HOW SHORT it was. I looked like a porn star! =S My colleague Dalena was a little shorter than me, so the hem of the dress fell down her butt perfectly, but it was a different case for me. Plus she was tinier, I felt so fat next to her! Wasn't told to bring safety shorts, so the client sent me home to get it since I stayed nearby. But with the safety shorts, I still felt so uncomfortable. My agent told me the client said I looked uncomfortable and she told me to try my best not to be. How not to be when your buttcheeks are playing peek-a-boo with the whole of CommunicAsia?! =.=

At my booth:



Dalena and I with Amelia from Samsung:



With Samantha from Samsung as well:



With Sarah and Beatrice from Yahoo!:





Sarah is sooo hilarious, I really love that girl. Every lunchtime, she made me laugh so much that I cried. Her jokes are super funny! Gotta love her!

Dalena and I made it to the front page of the CommunicAsia newspaper on the 2nd day!:



I don't like the hat so I didn't wear it! Makes my hair look funny every which way.

The C-Boss girls:













LG dance:







After the last day of the job, I threw out my black boots because.....:



YES, they were peeling like crazy. The mouth on the right side opened up on the 2nd day and I had to bring it home to glue it back. =.= I've had these boots for ages. It's been with me through so many jobs - the different motorshows, CommunicAsia, Johnnie Walker, etc. Threw the white ones out earlier and now I have no boots for work anymore. Is this a sign? Ha.

Am in the midst of watching The 'L' Word. I know, I am so slow! But hey, it's an interesting show. Claudia introduced it to me, I don't know my cousin watched shows like that! LOL. Katherine Moennig aka Shane McCutcheon is HAWTTT!!:









Yes, she's friggin' skinny. But I like the long, messy hair. She has this rocker, I-don't-give-a-shit thing going on. So hot!:



What's with the fedora? I love it. I'm gonna find the perfect one for myself and do a photo shoot with it!

Gotta go get ready for Rachel's birthday gathering at Gotham now. Another party! See ya!

Labels: Adlina, Amelia, Beatrice, Becs, CommunicAsia, Dalena, Gayle, Irene, Mok, pictures, Play, Rachel, Samantha, Sarah, SUTYA

Majolica Majorca is giving away 200 free AND exclusive pretty mirrors!



So pretty! I want it too! I think a girl should always, always have a mirror in her bag. For me, I do. =) And to win yours, you can go to Majolica Majorca's website, click on "Singapore" and answer a simple survey. YUP, that's ALL you need to do!!

Application period ends on 30th June! Good luck! =)

Labels: Majolica Majorca

Another night out at Play, this time with Ching Ling and her friend Grady, and then when Adeline came to join me, Ching Ling left 'cos she had to work the next day. Didn't take much pictures, but I made a couple of new friends. One of them came up to Adeline for her number on A DARE. =.= Poor Adeline! Haha. And then it turned out that the other one was Adeline's ex-colleague or something. Anyway, this is my new friend Mok:



With Adeline and her ex-colleague Siew Lee:



They're nice people, bought us drinks and everything. =) I spoke to Becs yesterday night. Did a nice gesture and bought her magazine on the spot since she was on the cover and they told me I could. She was so sweet, she autographed it for me right there. And this person whom Becs introduced to me, her name was Karen... She held out her hand for my camera... I handed it over slowly because I was confused as to why she wanted it. Turned out she took so many pictures for me and I didn't even request her to! =):



Haha, no idea what we were laughing at! All I know is I look like shiaaate:





Alrighttt, my autographed mag from the gorgeous Becs!:



Actually I have more pics but I don't wanna put them up since they're candid and I look TERRIBLE! Becs looks pretty from every angle, so unless you want me to cut myself out... =.= I've seen Becs around in town and other events since like, 4 years ago? Never really spoken to her before, just smiled and nodded hello every time. I remember the first time I met her at Denise's birthday party in 2005. She's really friendly, no airs about her at all. Zero. She smiles at everyone. You only have to catch her eye and she'd smile at you. Every time I see her, she's always smiley. She's a nice person, so next time when ya'll see her, don't be afraid to say hello. =)

I only slept an hour before I had to wake up for a job at Paragon. Yeah okay, so I went to work drunk and hungover, whatever you wanna call it. My head was spinning and my stomach was queasy... Didn't help that the cab driver kept on lurching and he was playing some kinda nice melodious spa music that totally made me wanna go back to sleep! Work was for some filming for ChannelnewsAsia, a fashion programme. Was working with Gayle and Rachel, and all we did was be mannequins. Quite an easy job, but standing still was a chore. I've never been good at that! =S I like Rachel's outfit:



As for me, I always end up with the sucky ones...:



Don't I look mumsey! Hahaha. The dress totally dwarfed me or something. When you're modelling for someone, you can't complain so I guess that's what I had to do, no? Ah well, never mind. Don't know when the programme will air though.... They didn't tell us, so I can't tell you! The host was James and I heard he was one of the only Asians who made it far in Donald Trump's The Apprentice. Impressive. Went window-shopping with Rachel after work and was sooo tired, I couldn't make it for Supermodelme.tv's launch at Mimolette. Sad!!!

Have CommunicAsia next week for 4 days. I welcome the moolah!! Crystal is broke. Latersss.

Labels: Adeline, Becs, Mok, pictures, Play, Rachel, Siew Lee, SUTYA