New Year New Look
Gave my blog a new face-lift! I like the freshness it gives. HOWEVER..... I know the alignment is wrong on mobile. My header is to the left on mobile, but it's centralized on desktop. What is wrong with the mobile layout, ARGGHHHH. Hope I get it fixed soon, or I will just rip this whole skin off and redo it with another. D: Troublesomeeee~~!!! (T_T)
Work and Academics
"老师早, 同学们好, 我们开始上课了~"
School reopens tomorrow. I spent the month-long school holidays working part-time and packing in as many events as I could... And sometimes, I still feel like it's not enough. I hate being a student because I am always so broke. I stress easily, and it takes a toll on my health. Now I have to constantly stress on how to make ends meet again, especially when Cookie depends on me. And then there are all the bills. =.= Doesn't help that I also just paid for the first quarter of school fees, arghhh. =( WHY. As much as I love receiving new textbooks and flipping through them, excited at the information and knowledge that's about to be imparted to me, I really also cannot wait to get it over and done with because reallyyyy, I need the freedom to get a proper job. I need 'em dollar bills, niggas!
Some of the jobs that happened over the month, namely:
- Blogshop shoot (again):
- Serving job for a company event at the Air Force Museum:
Fell in love with the aircrafts on display. Absolutely love them! Also met Zoe Tay's husband, haha. He's pretty cool.
- Singha job during the CNY festivities:
Was just commenting that I'd never met Zoe Tay in real life and when I do, it's her husband. But then a few days later, tadaaaa:
- LHL CNY dinner for Heineken:
- Canon Prosperity Night 2014:
And the actual job:
I know, the hair. LOL. But definitely not as horrendous as the makeup though!!! >.< Belinda Lee was the host and the guests-of-honour were Jade Seah and the delightful Simon Yam. I was in such a hurry to rush off after the dinner due to other commitments that I missed a photo with Simon Yam while the other girls managed to snag one. =( Wasted! Also did a few other ad-hoc jobs here and there that I didn't take photos of. All my pay is currently still being held. About time they paid me! Jobs aside, I also made the decision to pick up a new hobby during the hols, in the form of the ukulele:
HAHA. I actually feel really spastic because the only experience I had with music was in secondary school when I joined the symphonic band. And even then, I was playing the flute. I gave that up halfway. Hopefully I won't give up on the ukulele too... I really wish to learn a musical instrument! Thank you Chanel, for passing on your ukulele to me so I don't have to go out and buy one for myself. =D When school begins tomorrow, I would definitely have less time to practise because school comes first. It's all about time management, huh? School, earning money and also the ukulele. Hahaha. Good job, Crystal Shong.
Last but not least, I cut my hair again~~~!!!:
Starting to get accustomed to this new look, I guess. Definitely feels better snipping it off the second time around. Never really liked short hair before, but now I am starting to... It's more manageable. And makes me look fresher too. Long hair can be a drag sometimes, both looks-wise and maintenance-wise.
Anyway, I am positive I am going to breeze through school, at least for this semester. ;) So glad that the decade-long break from academics didn't take away my ability to retain and process information well. Can't wait to kick some ass and learn everything that they have to teach us about Mass Comm! Nothing is more awesome than doing what you love. Gonna write to my heart's content! Hehe. Straight after this semester, I will be flying off to Jakarta for an event job. Looking forward to that too, and then a little break before Term 2 begins. Sounds like a plan. ^_^
Life is good
Life and its QUIRKS
I have lived long enough in this world and met enough people to know that they come and go, especially friends. And that the ones you once called a friend, can no longer stay a friend. Not even "friends" with inverted commas. Friendships that don't work out no longer upset me in the way it used to. Now, as I am typing this, I am almost dizzy with rage thinking about it. That's probably another form of upset, I suppose.
I have all the right to reminisce, all the right to talk about what went down. So do you. As do you have the right to bang out a fucking blog post, so do I. I reminisce not because I miss you as a friend, but because I am glad WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS. As the days pass and I look back at everything, so am I more disgusted at how you used to behave. All the more am I convinced that all of it was a fucking act. We all grow up. And in that process, sure, I might have messed up a little here and there like everyone else. That doesn't give you the right to judge. You, as such a holy Christian - oh wow, how lucky that your life turned out to be a bed of roses. Very good, come I clap for you. But also fucking get that not everyone is like you. Such a bloody narrow-minded mentality. You think the whole world is about you? When I look back now, I realised you weren't that much of a friend anyway, since you can reveal things that people tell you in confidentiality. Go and look up the meaning of "confidentiality", if you don't already know. You clearly don't, and you call yourself an educator. HAHA. Just because you are a Christian and being gay is against that, you do the one fucking thing that the Bible also says you shall not do: YOU JUDGE. This is why I fucking hate homophobics, and you are one. So I hate you, simple as that. Because who died and made you God? Quit being all self-righteous, it's sickening to look at. You're not a saint, even though your name might deceive otherwise. After having known each other for as long as we did (and thankfully not anymore, for me as much as for you!), you should know enough to know that I am straight-forward. My words cut like a knife, but they all mean well. Too bad if your heart cannot take it, I will not pity you. So yeah, why don't you judge me for that too? Isn't that what you do best anyway? =) Or are you gonna go all self-righteous again and say, "Ohhh, I forgive her because that's what the Bible tells me to do?" Fuck what the Bible says when you cannot even follow what it says, for God's sake.
How fucking long has it been? I can't even remember. To think I almost came close to standing on neutral ground. YUCKS. You know, I am SOOOOO much better now. I no longer give a shit what you think about me or the way I live my life, because all you think about is yourself. And I don't value the opinions of self-righteous people either, for one thing. I came across an article the other day... A gay couple's daughter was having a birthday party and they sent out invites. A mum replied the couple with a nasty note, and there is nobody else I know that I can associate that behaviour with, except YOU:
Clearly, the mum pitied the child of the gay couple. The mum is a homophobic. So are you. But you know what? I think I pity your child more... That he has to grow up with such a narrow-minded, judgmental mother. And that's the end of the story. Fuck his life, and yours.
You sicken me.
Just some of my favourites above (click to enlarge)... I cannot remember when was the first time I read a Lang Leav poem... What I do know, was that I was hooked from the very first one. I've never come across someone who can write this way - with such simple words holding so much emotion at the same time. And sometimes, just sometimes, your heart breaks upon reading the last sentence. These little poems tug at my heartstrings, make me ponder about many things... And that is exactly what I love. I've spent the last few days poring over her writings... Cannot seem to get enough. <3
Respect for the fantastic Lang Leav.
Welcoming in 2014
What better way to start the first day of the year with a fat pay cheque! Haha. Did an event for Chivas and Absolut Elyx vodka yesterday night! It was gruelling standing in 4-inch heels for 6 hours, especially with the heavy trays we had to carry and still balance ourselves well enough to avoid our heels stabbing into the gaps in-between the concrete tiles on the rooftop terrace. =( So much for saying I quit events, eh? I guess there's no harm going back to it if I can, since it pays the bills. And besides, I said it that time because of my stupid office job which I've now since quit, of course. I made new friends too, so it ain't too bad really!
By nightfall, the view from the rooftop terrace was sooo pretty, with the floating lights on the bay that changed colours every few minutes or so:
During the last few minutes before the stroke of midnight, Melissa and I grabbed our phones from our bags (even though we weren't allowed them on the job) because we wanted to document the fireworks. It was closer than expected! I don't think I've ever looked at fireworks so up-close before. It was beautiful:
Now photos don't do them justice, so even better yet, I've got a video!:
Definitely worth it. ;)
Thank you Sally and Sabrina at Glamourelle, for the opportunity to earn some moolah on the first day of my 2014! HUAT AHHH!!! HEHEHEHE.
Today is the last day of 2013. Like everyone else, it's the time to set New Year resolutions. Come to think of it, I have never fulfilled a single New Year resolution in my life. In fact, I kinda forget them like, halfway into the year or something? And even if I wrote them down, I never really bothered to go back and read them again to remind myself. But right, since everyone is doing so, I shall hop on the same bandwagon. And this time, I resolute to remember my 2014 New Year resolutions. LOL!!!
Okay no, seriously. I don't think I'm that much of a "New Year resolutions" person, but I've come to realise it's more feasible for me to set little goals or make promises to myself (be it big or small) at any time of the year... And also reflect on the year that has passed. 2013 was by far, the worst year I can remember. If I recall back down the road in future, I believe 2013 will give me jarring images and memories I would much rather forget. The biggest issue was my health. I have lost count of the number of doctor appointments I'd made, or the amount of time I spent sitting in waiting rooms to be called. My skin suffered horribly, and I lost a lot of weight. Got an eye infection that I stupidly did not realise for more than 5 months, until I was perpetually tired, my eyes bloodshot and my vision so blur, I couldn't see my own computer screen 2 feet away. I try not to wear contact lenses so much now... It was quite a wake-up call. I also found lumps in my breasts, which warranted a check-up and everything. But thankfully, it turned out to be benign. I look back at all the bills that had accumulated from all these doctor visits, and my heart sinks. But like they say, you can't turn back time... So, gone is the money, and I can only strive to make more.
I also made a couple of bad decisions in 2013... I left a job I enjoyed very much, to go for another job that paid me more. The boss promised me a ton of things, made it sound like a bed of roses. But, he completely failed to deliver. He was atrocious to work with, unhygienic and nitpicky, and a complete pain in the fucking ass. I cannot even recall when was the last time I met someone like that, or if I had ever. But I do know that I never want to meet anyone like this again, much less work for them. Sitting here thinking about it now really pisses me off all over again because what sort of person does it make you, when you only say things to people and promise them things for your own gain? In this case, I strongly believe that because they were newly opened and extremely, desperately in need of people, they made a whole load of promises to me so I would go work for them and then use me as a "temporary stopper" before looking for someone they deem more suitable, to replace me. Don't you think that is the most selfish thing anyone can do, and also a bit unethical? Because of them, I left a perfectly good job for another that I was told was even better. But it was all just a bunch of bull. They basically destroyed my life because my budget is getting tighter by the day since I left. VIDA VINO, I hope you are ashamed of yourselves and I hope 2014 and beyond will suck balls for all you pretentious dickheads. By the way, your TripAdvisor rating is hilarious. Hilariously ridiculous. This
Also cut out some useless, unappreciative, disgusting people. They were so toxic, I didn't know why I let them stick around longer than I should have. Seriously, so so so poisonous that I almost died. It's like I could feel the joy being sucked right out of me bit by bit, which really made me believe in energy and bad vibes. How could I not, when I could see the effects it had on me with my own eyes in the mirror? Saddening, really. And scary. Anyway, these people are not even worthy to be mentioned anymore because that's how insignificant they've become, only because they made me an option first. I couldn't be more glad that it's all over now. You know who you are, but does it even matter to me anymore? Nope.
With the bad stuff now out of the way, good things did happen too. For one, I regained my faith and went back to church. I owe a big "thank you" to my bro Nicholas, and my good friend Deborah. I thank God that they were sent to me as angels to guide me back on my path with God. I am glad I have friends like these who are not over-zealous, but at the same time very steadfast in their faith. I enjoy going to church, and sometimes even though time doesn't permit me to do so, I am very thankful that I found a church that finally feels like home. Thank you, Pastor Prince. You are an inspiration. And this also led me to Joel Osteen in Texas. He is by far, my favourite preacher of all. I hope someday I can travel to Texas and sit in on one of his sermons. It would be such an honour. Full of respect for this man. Here's a YouTube video of one of his services (I like that he likes to "start with something funny each week") - Elle introduced me to him, actually. She sent me this link when I was going through a lot, and just this sole sermon alone made me stronger:
Thank you Deb, for always spamming my Whatsapp with Tumblr quotes on Jesus and all things Christian especially when I am down and out. Thank you for being so encouraging and kind and generous to me. You're the only friend I know who reflects the likeliness of God so well, and I think it is a great thing. I hope your 2014 will be more than you can ever dream of. <3 Since we're on the topic of friends, I also want to thank the other friends who've stood by me in all trials and tribulations. I know I am not one to say much, but I am a quiet observer. And I appreciate it inwardly that you guys have been there for me always. Hamizah, Joyce and Ee Xuan - big hugs and kisses to you all. The only 3 who knows all my secrets and keeps them safe for me, always. Thank you for being in my life in 2013, and I hope it will stay that way in 2014 and even after. Last but not least, another thing that happened this year: I went back to school. Yes, like finally. After procrastinating for way too many years, I took my savings and went back to school. Even when I was sitting at the table with my course consultant, even when I was paying for my fees, I was still hesitant. It felt a little like an out-of-body experience when I handed my card over for payment. When I went back home, I fretted over if it was the right thing to do. When the first day of school loomed closer, I started worrying about the whole nonsense with new environments and people, etc. But it's more than 1 month later now, and I am very glad I have a clique to hang out with in school. In fact, I found my project mates on the first day. ;) Yesterday was actually the presentation date for said project, and I was really happy when the lecturer gave us our evaluation saying, "Very thorough presentation; one of the better teams today." *fist pump* The satisfaction is really rewarding, especially so when it was a subject many people have trouble with, including me. I'm proud that I managed to work around it and provide excellent results. I'm glad I picked the right people to work with. I dare say I'm one of the more hardworking peeps in class, and also one of the smarter ones. =D The other day, my Maths lecturer praised me in front of my classmates and said I'm smart, that I pick things up very quickly and understand things very easily. I agree with him! I really always do tell people that it's true I might not know everything, but once I am taught, I can learn the ropes pretty quickly. Nonetheless, it was a great feeling to be praised for a subject I am otherwise hopeless at. =P I think I often underestimate myself... But when things don't turn out as bad as I feared, I always realise I worried for nothing. This habit is hard to kick. Maybe it should be one of my resolutions too, to worry less. LOL. As much as I like school, I also can't wait for it to end. Time will fly by, and in the blink of an eye, it will all be over soon! 2013 has made me realise that health is indeed wealth, and doing something that makes you happy is most important. Happiness is most important. I have learnt NEVER to let anyone drag me down again, and I have learnt to love myself more. A lot of things don't matter as much in the face of bigger issues/problems. Did a lot of reflection even way before today, and now is the time I'm penning them all down. The same thing though, remains: I still don't give a fuck about what haters think about me. HEHEHEHE. For 2014, I resolute to hit the gym... Do well for my studies, try and aim for distinction and maybe even Best Student? =P Religion-wise, I only hope to get closer to God more than ever, and remember to turn to Him in times of trouble. Whatever I do, I will tell myself that it only makes me happy, and that's all that really matters. I just want to be happy. Laugh a lot, enjoy a lot, work hard and play hard and earn back all the money I put into my school fees. Insignificant people hardly matter, though I know they still stalk me very often. But I welcome the attention, if only it makes you feel better. Don't deny, just admit that it's inevitable I'm hard to get over. =)
The above is for you. I am rich, but you are poor. Geddit?
Here's to a better 2014 with all the right breaks and all the right people!!! Happy New Year. ;)
Trouble - Neon Jungle
"I don't look for trouble,
But trouble looks for me
And it's been waiting around corners,
Since I was seventeen
They say "Here comes a hurricane,
Trouble is her middle name!"
But I don't look for trouble,
Yeah trouble looks for me
Lights up, let's have a toke
Pour more whiskey in my Coke
Never been one of the herd,
Flipping everyone the bird
People say that I am heartless,
I've just learned to use my heart less
I go hard 'cause I'm the hardest,
And we ain't even started yet!"
Just about sums it up.
Just another day's work
One of my ex-customers approached me to do a shoot for their newly-launched blogshop recently, so I agreed. The photos didn't turn out as bad as I expected, but still as usual, fell short of my expectations... I don't think this Virgo trait of mine will ever, ever go away... Nonetheless, here's a pic spam:
Cannot decide which item to keep! Am contemplating between the cobalt blue top, the orange top or the Korean-inspired lace dress... First-world problems. Lol.
Thank you to the 3 awesome ladies who showered me with praises throughout the entire shoot - I am very flattered. Make me shy....!!! Haha. <3 Thanks for believing in me and telling me I make all your clothes look good, even though I always think I look terrible. You girls are too nice!!