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I came back from Play that night, a happy girl. But to come home and sit in front of the computer and then receive news of his passing; it just shook me to the core. The very first bit of news I saw was from a DJ friend on Facebook. He wrote on his status, "Michael Jackson Is Dead. =/" I thought it was just a passing comment, until I started seeing more and more people posting the same thing on Facebook and even Twitter. I Googled, and I couldn't believe it. I wanted to think it was just stupid Internet rumours, another attack at him just like all the others he'd withstood before. At that point in time, it was reported he was still in the hospital. I was praying so hard that he'd pull through, that he'd come out of there alive. I sat in front of my computer searching for more news, waiting for good news. An hour later, they sent out confirmation of his death. My mum was at work and I called her, crying. Nobody could digest the news well enough... Our favourite King of Pop is dead.
I didn't sleep until the early morning, I was so upset. To some people, they don't give a shit, couldn't care less. To some people, they think people like me are dramatic. They think it's over-hyped. To some people, they think it's laughable. Samuel laughed at me and asked, "You know Michael Jackson ah? Why you cry?" Yes, I know Michael Jackson. The world knows him. Maybe Samuel doesn't, not that way. And a lot of other people are like him as well. Michael Jackson doesn't know me, but he knows his fans as a body of support for him, he knows we're all mourning his death. And I am one of them. I don't even think it's a very funny thing at all. I find zero humour in it.
I unexpectedly found a torrent download of Michael Jackson's SEGA Moonwalker game, and I was playing it on my computer earlier in the evening. It brought back so many memories. I'd raise up my hand if someone asked whether I'd ever attempted to Moonwalk like Michael Jackson before. I'd also raise up my hand if someone asked whether I mimicked his squeals on stage. I was introduced to Michael Jackson by my uncle. The very first time I laid eyes on his cassette tape, I was in awe of the intricate cover of Dangerous:

And I was even more awed at his music videos on LDs. Imagine how old I was then. 5-year-old me, getting goosebumps watching him perform. Even at 5 years old, I knew his power. To me, he was magic. He was a hero. My mouth fell open watching him twirl, watching him do the Moonwalk, watching him defy gravity when he leaned forward and didn't fall. Watching people faint at the mere SIGHT of him on stage. I loved Michael Jackson so much as a kid and I still do.
I don't know why his death is affecting me as much as it is... Don't ask me, okay? I just know it wasn't really meant to play out this way. Yes, the countless plastic surgeries he'd done. Yes, the countless painkillers he'd taken. Yes, the number of lawsuits slapped in his face and the accusations and the debt. But does that make him any less human? Does that make him any less talented? NO. NO IT DOES NOT. People only wanted his money, he had the biggest bullies in the world. MJ was a humanitarian; he loved kids and animals. That man could never hurt a fly. What wrong is there in him not wanting to grow up? What wrong is there being young at heart? Look at the number of charities he contributed to, look at Neverland. Look at Heal The World. Look at HIM.
Was chatting to Bob on the phone about Michael Jackson for 45 whole minutes. We are all sad. I bet you when his autopsy results come out and things progress, people involved are going to start fighting over his inheritance or whatever. Money, it's all about that. I can't stand it. Fools. When MJ was at his peak, everyone cheered for him. When he was at his all-time low with all that child molestation charges and health problems, where was everyone? Now that he's gone, his records are once again flying off the shelves like they once did. Isn't it a bit too late now? He is dead and they're still milking it for all it's worth, for the capital. Too little, too late.
I bet you there are people out there crying crocodile tears - the same people who once called him Wacko Jacko, the same people who once made fun of his antics and his face, of the way he spoke towards the end of his downward spiral. That breathy, girly voice. Have those people ever once stopped to think it could be his nose giving him problems? Could you really blame him? And what about the US$20 million he paid to the family of the boy he supposedly molested? Do you think from then till now, part of the US$20 million is still somewhere in their bank account? They should feel ashamed of themselves.
I've read so many statements released about Michael Jackson's death. All over the world, in so many reports here and there. Locals are interviewed as well, some undeserving of being asked. But what strikes me as out of sorts was the fact that Janet Jackson is missing from this whole thing. There are no pictures, no statements. I wonder where she is?
People are comparing the death of MJ and Elvis Presley's one together. I know of Elvis Presley, but he died before I was born. He wasn't in my era. Michael Jackson was, and boy, was he the most amazing performer I'd ever seen. Michael Jackson was pure genius, a true musician. He was charming, stunning and electrifying all at once. And can I say this again, I absolutely loved him. You can rest assured that the first songs my kids would know in the future would belong to Michael Jackson. They would never see him perform in person, just like I never did. And that is a true pity, a regret that I would carry forever. But his music lives on, and that is the greatest gift he gave to the world.
I remembered complaining that his comeback tour was only scheduled in London and none in Singapore, and I dreamt of buying a ticket to London just to watch him if I could. I dreamt of meeting him, and now I would never get that chance. At my age, I still feel that same familiar surge of awe as he belted out his hits on stage. Michael Jackson can reduce me to a little girl again, with me squealing at my mum, "Look! Look at Michael Jackson!!! Oh my God, my skin is crawling. He is SO GOOD!" Yes, look at Michael Jackson, my idol. I might not be the BIGGEST fan in the entire world, that of course I am not. But really, I loved Michael Jackson enough.
MJ had a brief marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley. Lisa Presley wrote on her MySpace blog:
Saturday, June 27, 2009
He Knew.
Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.
I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.
At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."
I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.
14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.
A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.
The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.
All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.
I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.
Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.
I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.
His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.
At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.
He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.
When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.
Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.
I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.
I was in over my head while trying.
I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.
The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.
After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.
Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.
At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.
As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.
Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.
He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.
I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.
He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.
I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.
The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.
I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.
~LMP
MJ knew. But that didn't mean he wasn't scared. He was a victim of his own fame. I wonder how he felt moments before his death. I wonder if he felt pain, I wonder if he felt alone. Most of all, I wonder if he felt loved.
Michael Jackson leaves behind his family and his 3 kids, Michael Jackson Jr., Paris and Prince aka Blanket:

Taken from Paris Hilton's Twitter:

She said God has another angel with Him now... I so agree. I could look at Michael's death as a good thing, that he's finally freed from his stress, his pain and his debt. But that doesn't mean I am not devastated. I am still grieving, it still feels like a dream. I have bouts of crying spells and my heart feels heavy. His songs have been on my Windows Media Player for 2 whole days. I miss him. ='((((
One might not be a fan, but nobody can deny the fact that Michael Jackson was a part of one's life at some point in time, big or small. There can only be one Michael Jackson, nobody even comes close. Nobody ever will. He was a part of my childhood, and he still is a part of me more than a decade down the road. And when he died, a little part of me died along with him.

With Michael Jackson's star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.
The day comes when everyone has to say goodbye. But I didn't know goodbye was going to be so soon. Farewell, my love. XOXOXOXOXOOXXXXXXXX
Labels: hard times, Michael Jackson, music, Paris Hilton, pictures



































































































































